


Experiments

by anything_for_armin



Series: Being A Titan Is Hard [3]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: (But This Time It's Pretty Painful Actually), Angst, Armin Arlert Now Has Trauma, Because Getting Your Limbs Amputated Is Pretty Painful, Because Wtf Hanji Did You Just Cut Off My Boyfriend's Arm And Expect Me To Comfort Him, Crying, Eren Yeager Does Not Know How To Deal With Pain, Eren Yeager Needs a Hug, Hanji Just Doing Her Experiment Thing, Human Experimentation, Hurt/Comfort, I'm Not Sure If This Counts As Graphic Depictions Of Violence But I Put It There Anyway, Levi Just Stands There And Stares Menacingly, M/M, Mikasa Also Gets Really Pissed, This Probably Definitely Counts As Angst So
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-28
Updated: 2021-02-28
Packaged: 2021-03-15 07:33:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29680554
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anything_for_armin/pseuds/anything_for_armin
Summary: "Let me get this straight... You want to cut off my boyfriend's arms and legs, and have me be in the room while this is happening?""Basically... yes.""And you also want me to attempt to comfort him while he is in excruciating pain?""...Yes""HOW THE ACTUALFUCKDOES ONE COMFORT ONE'S BOYFRIEND WHILE HIS LIMBS ARE BEING AMPUTATED HANJI"Basically what happens here is Eren Yeager is being experimented on (very painfully, may I add), Armin is being forced to watch, Eren gets sick later because of it (because who wouldn't to be honest), and Mikasa nearly beheads two of her superiors out of pure rage.!TW FOR GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE (as graphic as I've ever written anyway), AMPUTATION OF LIMBS, HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION, AND VOMIT (gosh this sounds so sick as I'm writing it down. I hope you guys don't think I'm a psychopath, I just wanted to write a fic where everyone goes too far with their experiment ideas)!
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Eren Yeager
Series: Being A Titan Is Hard [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2176785
Comments: 12
Kudos: 42





	Experiments

**Author's Note:**

> !TW FOR GRAPHIC DEPICTIONS OF VIOLENCE (as graphic as I've ever written anyway), AMPUTATION OF LIMBS, HUMAN EXPERIMENTATION, AND VOMIT (gosh this sounds so sick as I'm writing it down. I hope you guys don't think I'm a psychopath, I just wanted to write a fic where everyone goes too far with their experiment ideas)!
> 
> I do not know what this is. Please do not ask. My works just keep on getting worse and worse by the day huh? Anyways I'm not really a fan of blood and gruesome shit but this idea just came in my head out of nowhere and next thing I knew I was like 5000 words in so I couldn't really back out could I? 
> 
> Remember how in my last few works I said I take too damn long to get to the point? Yeah, that's nothing compared to this. This is like, double the words of any of my previous works. 
> 
> Also, I know I said to never trust people who write conclusions but I feel like one is needed here. So - in conclusion, good luck to whoever has come across whatever the fuck this piece of trash is. It's an incredibly long piece of trash too. Please forgive me for this and just know I hate it too. This is absolutely disgusting, poorly written, and not reread. Don't expect much from this. Correction - don't expect anything at all from this. I hate this more than I hate myself. (I have many more things to say, but I think I'll just put that at the A/N at the end).
> 
> !ALSO FOR SOME REASON I FEEL THE NEED TO SAY THIS (yes, again) BUT I DO NOT OWN ATTACK ON TITAN OR ANYTHING RELATED TO IT (apart from this work ofc) I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS MENTIONED, AND ALL CREDITS GO TO HAJIME ISAYAMA AND HONESTLY IDK IF I EVEN NEED TO MENTION THIS BUT ALL ANIMATION CREDITS GO TO WIT STUDIO AND MAPPA!

Eren Yeager had quite a strong hatred for one of the rooms in the scout headquarters. As you may have guessed, it was none other than Captain Levi's office. It was much too clean for his liking, the aura in it intimidating and unwelcoming. It didn't help all that much that Eren was only called in there to discuss very serious matters, the last time he had been called in there being a day before he set off to Wall Sina with the rest of the scouts for his trial.

It wasn't that he was **scared** of it, no. The room was simply... unsettling, is all. Yeah - unsettling. That was definitely the word to describe what he was feeling at the moment as the Captain's words barely registered in his ears, seeming to hear only "my office", "after dinner", and "important". It definitely wasn't fear, coiling it's way through his insides and making him tremble. No, it most certainly wasn't anxiety. Just him being slightly unsettled. Yeah, that was definitely it.

It had been around two hours since Captain Levi had approached him, and at this point Eren wasn't sure if he wanted the hours to tick by faster or slower, to postpone his meeting with Levi for as long as he possibly could or get it over with already and stop the horrible nauseous feeling settling in his stomach. His mind had been preoccupied all day, trying to figure out what the hell could be so important Levi couldn't just pull him aside and tell him, instead inviting him to his office (which, by the way, Eren suspected he didn't like all much more than he did himself). 

What in the world could be so important that he'd summon him to that dreadful room, his last memories of it being the explanations of how Eren had to be on his best, compliant behavior at the trial, or else he'd be dead before he knew it. Maybe this was a similar situation? Was he being called in for another trial, even after all these months? Maybe it was yet another difficult plan the strategy squad had come up with, all the responsibility resting on his shoulders? Maybe he had to sacrifice himself? Maybe-

He stopped his train of thought, noticing he was spiraling. Unlike Armin, he was pretty good at spotting that sort of thing and stopping himself before it got too overwhelming. He would know what the Captain wanted from him very soon, seeing as how it was only around an hour until the sun set, and given the fact that they'd had nightly trainings all week last week, they'd probably be let off early tonight. Eren was very grateful for this, because all this worrying was draining him of energy and he wasn't sure if he'd even be able to keep himself upright after meeting with the Captain.

Time did not seem to be on Eren's side today though, going slower when he willed the meeting to come already and going exceptionally fast when he suddenly felt as though he'd throw up at the very mention of it. However, no matter how much Eren wished he could manipulate time, that was not really an ability he possessed, and so the meeting drew closer and closer with every passing minute, whether it went fast or slow, whether Eren liked it or not, and soon enough, it was time to head to the dining hall, the rest of the scouts filing in through the large wooden door.

Eren was very glad he wasn't on dinner duty today, his hands shaking so badly he was sure that if he had been, he would've ended the day with seven fingers instead of ten. Being alone with his thoughts wasn't the best feeling either, even though it was only for a few minutes. Armin, Jean, Mikasa, Sasha, and Connie joined him at their usual table, joking about how Connie had missed a tree during ODM gear training and fell on top of the Captain.

Eren tried to joke along with them, to pay attention, he really did, but he soon realized his mind wouldn't let him rest until he found out what was going on. The constant mentioning of Levi didn't really make it all that much easier for him to take his mind off it, either.

Eren hardly ate that evening. It wasn't that he didn't like the food, it wasn't like he was actually sick or anything, but the anxiety fluttering through him sure felt like it. He'd eat later, maybe ask Sasha to get something for him (she really was an expert at stealing things from the kitchens unnoticeably). He was so far gone, he didn't notice his friends sending him worried looks, only realizing he was making it too obvious when Armin leaned over so he could look straight in his eyes and asked him if he was alright, saying he looked extremely pale and clammy and shaky.

Eren nodded hurriedly, but the sudden movement seemed to make him all the more sick. Finally, he decided he couldn't take it anymore, standing up and bolting out of the dining room, ignoring his friend's protests. He'd explain later. They'd understand, right?

Eren's pace only quickened the closer he got to the office, stopping only when he reached the door. It was clean, just like the room beyond it, dark wood almost shining, despite the fact that it was already dark.

He raised his fist, about to knock against the door, but stopped just a few inches away from it. It was like he was frozen in place, unable to move, not matter how much he willed his body to. His hand lowered back to his side carefully before he took a deep breath, raised it again, and knocked on the door.

"Come in" came a low voice from inside, muffled by the still-closed door.

Eren turned the door handle and stepped inside, careful not to slam it. Captain Levi hated doors being slammed. Eren took notice of the fact that he was still very shaky, and tried to will his hands to stop moving around so much. Levi seemed to notice too, because the next time he spoke, it was to say:

"Eren, stop shaking. I'm not going to murder you"

Eren nodded, putting his hands in his pockets and taking a deep breath to try and calm himself. God, this was pathetic. He couldn't even keep himself together in front of the Captain. He noted how absolutely drenched in sweat his palms were, and he shuddered at the thought of holding hands with Armin while in this state. Were his hands always this clammy? Why had Armin never mentioned it? Oh, god he was probably disgusted. He was probably-

"Eren", his thoughts were cut off, bringing him back to the harsh reality of the situation he was in. "I told you to sit down" Levi said, annoyance clear in his voice. He nodded, heading over to the chair and muttering a "sorry sir", before sitting down, feeling Levi's eyes on him the whole time.

When a few minutes had passed and the Captain had not uttered a word, Eren looked up questioningly. "We're waiting for Hanji" he answered, his tone flat. Eren sometimes wondered if Levi could read minds - no, read facial expressions was more like it. Eren let out a small hum of affirmation before letting his eyes scan over the office. 

It had changed since he'd last been here, bookshelves full of books with spines in all different colors, a map spread out on the long table they were seated at, a single white candle burning right next to it. Eren preferred it this way, a lot less plain and a lot more inviting.

They continued to sit in a comfortable silence, Levi staring at the door as though he thought that if he stared at it for long enough it might make Hanji appear out of thin air. Ten minutes had passed, then fifteen, and there still was no sign of her. Levi sighed disapprovingly and stood up, walking over to a small counter in the corner.

It was simple, nothing more than a long wooden drawer, but upon closer inspection, it appeared to also have a small stove on top of it. "Eren", Levi spoke once again for the first time in around twenty minutes. "I'm making tea", he continued. Eren was very confused. Why was Levi telling him this? What did he want Eren to do, praise him for doing so? Oh, wait. He was asking if Eren would like some too. Eren almost laughed at that, it appeared the Captain was absolutely horrible at social skills, and as much as he scolded the scouts for being polite, it appeared he didn't have it in him to utter the simple question of "would you like some as well?".

But Eren did not want to make him mad, especially not during a time like this, so he didn't comment on that fact, instead choosing to nod his head. If he was being completely honest, he thought the way Levi made tea was especially peculiar, considering how he somehow managed to make it so very bitter and yet so very calming at the same time. Eren had a suspicion he secretly drugged every single cup he made, but he wouldn't be testing that theory and asking anytime soon if he wanted to continue living.

The Captain said nothing, only turning back to the cupboard and pulling out a second cup, white and chipped, as though it had fallen onto the ground many, many times. It probably had, given Levi's tendency to drop them. Eren never really understood why he held his cups in that way. Maybe it was something he got from childhood? Eren only knew that Levi was raised by Kenny in the underground, the Captain never really bothering to tell them anything else. That could be it then, though he couldn't imagine a situation where holding your cup like that would be useful. Still, maybe it was tradition or something? Maybe-

"Here" he said, pushing the cup toward Eren, the almost black liquid sloshing around as steam wafted up from the top. "Don't drop it, it's on the verge of shattering anyway" he grumbled. Eren nodded, grabbing the mug with both of his hands. It was cold in his office, and Eren wanted to get all the warmth he possibly could.

He lifted it up to his lips, very very careful not to spill anything or drop the cup. Levi would have his head if he disrupted the perfect cleanliness of his office. He took small sips, seeing how it was still incredibly hot, relishing in the bitter taste for some reason. It was so bad that it was good, if that was even possible. Soon enough, Eren was the calmest he'd been all day, his anxiety soothed away by the warm liquid. Eren was now absolutely sure there was some kind of "special ingredient" in this because there was no way in the world the nauseous feeling he had felt before was gone just because of some drink.

"Why are you looking at it like that? It's not poison, brat, and if you don't like it just don't drink it", he heard, and he only just then realized he had, in fact, been staring at his cup for the past few minutes. He barely contained himself from asking what was in it, instead choosing to apologize and explain he'd zoned out.

"Finally. You were pretty damn annoying with all your trembling" Levi muttered, only strengthening Eren's suspicions of something unwelcome being added into his drink. Eren had had enough of this. He was going to ask.

"Um... Captain?" he asked hesitantly, Levi huffing in annoyance as he turned around to look at him, eyebrows raised.

"What do you want"

"I just wanted to know... How you make your tea. Because, well, it's awfully relaxing and we were all wondering how you did it and-"

Eren was cut off once again. "First of all, who is we?"

"The rest of the scouts" Eren muttered sheepishly.

"Secondly, you think I've been **drugging** you?" he asked, surprising Eren with how he had caught on.

"No, no of course not. We'd- we'd never think that, it's just that we were wondering and we wanted to know so that maybe we could try and remak-" he rambled, stuttering through half the sentence.

"Whatever. Just shut up already, you're making my head hurt. It's mint tea, by the way. Ever heard of it? It's known to be calming"

Oh. So it wasn't drugs. It was mint. Huh.

Eren fell silent, embarrassment seeping through him. At least he knew now though. He smirked a little as he realized that Jean now owed him a week of chores. They'd had a bet, you see. A bet on who'd get the courage to ask the Captain about it first. Jean would be so pissed. He could already imagine the look on his face when he'd get back. When was he about to get back anyway? What was taking Hanji so long?

As if he had read his mind, the Captain finished his drink, tilting the cup so he'd be able to drink the last drops of the practically heavenly liquid, before standing up and walking over to the door. Seeming to have remembered Eren's presence, he turned around and said "I've had enough of this. I'm going to find her. Just stay here and don't move for now. Oh, and don't break anything either or I swear, Eren, I will murder you with my own two hands".

And with that, he opened the door, stepping out into the hallway. Eren was expecting him to be gone for at least a half hour. Hanji had boundless energy so she could literally be anywhere, not to mention the headquarters were quite big. His assumption was proved wrong though, seeing as how not five minutes later the Captain entered the room once again, Hanji babbling apologies right behind him.

"Mind to explain what took so long?" Levi started his interrogation, arms folded over the table and eyes nearly boring holes into Hanji's skull.

"Well... You see... I had some... Things to take care of" Hanji answered sheepishly.

"Do these "things" involve Arlert?" he asked, the glare on his face still prominent.

"Well... yes. But... I... I may have kind of forgotten to mention **it** to him?"

"So basically what I'm concluding is you were late because you were pestering him with questions about the titan marks. Again. And not because you were doing what I asked you to do. Correct?" he asked.

"Um... yes?"

Levi huffed in annoyance before turning his eyes away from Hanji, choosing to focus on Eren instead. "Let's start then. I want to get this conversation over with as soon as possible and Eren's practically pissing his pants out of fear"

Hanji's face seemed to fall at those words, making anxiety stir in Eren once again. He suddenly remembered where he was, all the bad memories he had of this room, the reason why he was called here in the first place. Levi was right. He **was** practically pissing himself out of fear.

"Levi... Are you really sure we have to do this? We could just make something up, hope it comes close to the results, and if we completely mess up we can just say his healing abilities must've worked at a different pace for some reason. I just... I can't, Levi. I can't just do that to him" Hanji whispered, her gaze fixed on the wooden table.

His healing abilities? Make up results? What was going on? What couldn't Hanji do?

"We can't. You know we can't. The Military Police will have our heads if they know we faked and then they'll probably do it themselves. Who knows what'll happen to Eren if they do it? Not to mention, they've decided to bring over a representative from the squad to check we're actually doing it. They're one step ahead of us Hanji. We have no choice. We've already been over this. Now just tell him already so he can stop squirming around in his chair like a child" Levi answered.

Eren was really freaking out now. What was going on? Why did Hanji look so sad, why did Levi look... sympathetic? No. It couldn't be. Levi was incapable of emotions.

"I can't do it Levi. How do I tell him? How do I tell him he has no choice? That no one cares how he feels about this?"

Levi sighed, turning his gaze back to Eren.

"Eren", he started, and Eren was oh so glad he'd finally be getting answers. "The strategy squad has given us... Quite a difficult task". A difficult task? What was the problem with that? He'd done difficult tasks many times before. He sighed in relief. Was that all? Just something he had to do that might be challenging? Gosh, Hanji was so overdramatic sometimes.

But his stomach dropped when he finally took in the look on his Captain's face. It was something strange. A mixture of anger, sympathy and... fear? What could the Captain possibly be afraid of? His mind suddenly revisited the thought of a plan that involved him having to sacrifice himself, and while he wasn't happy about it, if it was something that would save humanity, he'd be willing to give his life.

"You see, they want to know how long it takes for a titan shifter's limbs to grow back after they've been severed"

Oh. 

Oh no. 

"The strategy squad knows they grow back, they just want to know exactly how long it takes for them to do so"

Oh god, please no.

"And... Um... And how would the strategy squad wish to check that information?" Eren managed to croak out, willing the answer he was thinking of to not fall from his Captain's lips.

"Well... We'd have to... Sever yours"

Fuck.

Eren didn't know how to react. He had expected that answer, but now that Levi had actually said it, it became a lot more real to him.

"You... you want to-"

"No, Eren. Not want to. We **need** to" he answered, the sympathy in his Captain's eyes as he said it so foreign it made Eren tremble with fear instead of calm down.

"Why? Why do they-" he could barely get his sentences out. 

Levi seemed to get the message though, telling him that even he and Hanji weren't aware of what was going on. The Military Police and the squad had asked for the information, and there was no way they could refuse, not when higher forces were involved. Those bastards.

They expected him to just lie down and willingly get his limbs cut off, just so they could have information for some unknown reason? You know what? Fuck them.

Eren seriously considered running away, hiding, maybe, but he soon realized that his superiors would suffer for it. He might even get his friends killed. His comrades, who had nothing to do with this. So, really, there was no option other than to do it.

All his questions had now been answered, although having answers seemed to be much more terrifying than the wait for them, he had to admit. No - wait. He still had one question.

"When... A-and who will be... um... you know..." he barely managed to squeeze out of his throat.

"Well, we want to get it done as soon as possible so we can put this behind us, so probably tomorrow. As for who - it'll be Hanji, as you may have guessed. We made sure of that. We're not letting any sick fuck from the MP get anywhere near you. The only people there will be me, Hanji, and a person from the strategy squad" he answered, and Eren finally realized why Levi had seemed so angry before. It wasn't directed at Hanji, or at him. It was directed at whoever was making them do this. The MP and the strategy squad. 

Wait. The strategy squad? Wasn't Armin in there? How **dare** he? How could he have possibly sat right next to him during dinner and ask him if he was okay while knowing he was about to get the most horrifying news of his life? How **dare** he sit and listen to the strategy squad talk about how they needed information - information that could only be acquired by putting Eren through something horrible - and not object? Why didn't he object? Shut the idea down completely? Why didn't Armin tell him? Why hadn't he prepared him for what he was about to hear today? Why?

"Yeah, you should've seen how furious Levi was when the squad even brought up the idea. He practically killed them right then and there. It was absolutely terrifying, honestly" Hanji suddenly piped up, her voice still quiet.

That surprised Eren quite a lot. Levi had fought for him? He knew he cared about the scouts but would he really stand up to the **strategy squad** for **him**? It seemed that tonight really was full of surprises.

Levi huffed at her words, a tell-tale sign that it was, in fact, true.

"Eren" he started again. "Questions?" he asked. Eren opened his mouth to respond, to ask if Levi knew if Armin had objected to it as well, wanted to know if his boyfriend had fought for him as well, before realizing that was a stupid question to ask his Captain and shutting it once more.

"He's worried his boyfriend didn't fight for him, isn't that right Eren?" Hanji asked, obviously noticing. Damn it. It seemed Hanji was good at reading facial expressions as well. "Don't worry, Eren. He wasn't present at the meeting. In fact, he knew nothing about it. The squad didn't include him because of your... relationship" she answered with a small smile. Hanji always got so excited at any mentions of a relationship within the squads, whether it be the Survey Corps or any other. It reminded Eren of a lot of girls he'd met when he was younger, fawning over boys and gossiping over relationships. He couldn't blame her though, relationships were rare in the world they lived in, especially during recent years given certain events, and especially in the Survey Corps.

Eren had to hold himself back from sighing in relief. The version of Armin that his mind had created, secretive and uncaring, was abolished the second those words poured out of Hanji's mouth. Armin wasn't like that. Armin would fight for him, until the end. And he'd do the same.

"You can go now, Eren. Try and get some rest, okay?" Hanji told him, putting a hand on his shoulder, her voice gentle. Eren wasn't sure he'd be able to do that, not when he'd just received such unsettling information. "Oh, yeah, and could you call Armin before you head off to the dorms? We'd like to talk to him about something" she continued, and Eren nodded, his mind too full of thoughts to even wonder why Armin was needed.

Eren stood up, stumbling a little as he did, and sent a small "goodnight" in their direction as he exited the room. He had somehow left with an even worse feeling than he had when he had entered. He'd expected the meeting to ease his nerves, to give him answers, not make him feel undoubtedly worse. He suddenly found himself wishing Armin hadn't been called to the office, wishing he could vent to him about everything that was going on, and maybe even have Armin sleep next to him tonight so that he'd get maybe a few hours of rest himself.

It was fine though. He'd tell Armin everything later, after he was done. He just had to be patient and not break down just yet. He could do that... Right?

Finding Armin wasn't hard, he usually liked to go to bed right after dinner, especially after the intense week of night trainings they had just had, so all Eren had to do in order to find him was head for the dorms.

Armin was a little confused as to why Levi and Hanji wanted to meet him, but followed Eren nonetheless. The walk to the office was quiet, both boys tired and Eren still trying to process all the information he'd just received. Armin seemed to sense something was wrong based on the worried looks he sent him every few seconds, but he appeared to not want to pester Eren with questions just yet. He'd probably do that after the meeting, and Eren was just fine with that, wanting to tell Armin everything anyway.

They finally reached the office, door still shiny and clean, just as it had been when Eren had entered around two hours before. With a small smile of encouragement, Eren told Armin he'd be meeting him back at the dorms before setting off toward them once again, Armin entering the office.

"Let me get this straight" Armin started after everything had been explained. "You want to cut off my boyfriend's arms and legs, and have me be in the room while this is happening?"

"Well, we don't exactly want to, but basically... yes" Hanji answered.

"And you also want me to attempt to comfort him while he is in excruciating pain?" he asked again.

"...Yes"

"HOW THE ACTUAL **FUCK** DOES ONE COMFORT ONE'S BOYFRIEND WHILE HIS LIMBS ARE BEING AMPUTATED HANJI"

"I-I'm honestly not sure. We could have someone else do it if you don't want to, or he could even do it alone, I'm sure he'd be able t-"

"ARE YOU INSANE? OF COURSE I'LL FUCKING DO IT I'M JUST ASKING WHAT THE HELL WENT THROUGH YOUR DEMENTED BRAINS WHEN YOU THOUGHT OF CUTTING OFF MY BOYFRIEND'S ARMS" Armin yelled again, his hands curling into fists as they slammed on the table, making the previously full cups clink as they rattled. Neither Hanji nor Levi reprimanded him for this though. He was being asked to do something incredibly difficult, and watch someone he cared about to go something even more difficult. His frustration was most certainly justified.

"Not **our** demented idea, **their** demented idea" this time it was Levi who spoke.

"I DON'T CARE WHO'S GODDAMNED IDEA IT WAS, I CARE ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE GOING TO PRACTICALLY TORTURE EREN, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT IT'S **MY** SQUAD WITH THESE DEMENTED IDEAS, AND YET SOMEHOW I WASN'T INCLUDED IN THIS DECISION"

"Armin. We understand your frustration, but please try and calm down. I'm sorry. This is just something we need to do - unless you want Eren to be handed over to the MP, that is" Hanji said again. No way in hell was he letting Eren be handed over to them. He'd rather die.

Armin sighed, hands pinching the bridge of his nose as he slowly sank back into his chair, having risen from it in pure fury mere minutes before. "I'll do it. Obviously I'll do it. Just... Let me stay with him after as well, okay? I can't- I can't just leave him after something like that and go to training or whatever"

"We weren't planning on it"

Armin nodded. He didn't know how to process this. His own squad - **his own squad** \- had left him out of a decision that very much concerned him. Eren was about to- to... He couldn't even think about it. Was this why Eren had been acting weird all day? Had he even known back then? Why didn't Eren confide in him? Did he not trust him enough? Did he maybe think that Armin had attended the meeting and avoided fighting for him? He really hoped not. He needed Eren to trust him, especially now.

"Is that all? Can I leave now? I have some things that I have to take care of" he asked, his tone cold and cruel. He knew Hanji and Levi weren't the "bad guys" here, but his brain couldn't help but convince him that they were, couldn't help but wonder why they didn't fight for Eren even more than they had, why they hadn't come up with some alternative.

"Of course. We really should get going, Hanji's probably going to need to sleep at least a little if we want to go through this without anyone dying. Unless you have any questions, of course" 

Armin shook his head. He had no questions, just wanting to get back to Eren as soon as he possibly can, to help him in any way that he possibly can. Earning a dismissive nod from Levi, he exited the office, shutting the door carefully before practically sprinting down to the dorms, mind filled to the brim with thoughts and questions, the most prominent one being "how am I supposed to help him? What could possibly help someone who had received such horrifying news?"

He didn't know. For once, the boy had no answer. He'd figure something as he went along, he concluded, choosing to assess the situation before doing anything else. Panting and huffing, he finally reached the dorm rooms, opening the door quietly so as not to disturb anyone before opening the door and entering the room he had become so familiar with lately - Eren's room.

"Eren?" he whispered, panicking slightly when he got no response. It was way too quiet, not even sounds of breathing reaching his ears. "Eren?" he tried again, a little more frantic this time. When the room was silent once more, Armin opened the door to the room wider, letting dim light spill into it. It wasn't much, but it was definitely enough to conclude that Eren was nowhere to be seen.

"Shit" Armin whispered. Where could he have gone? Did he run away, the events of tomorrow scaring him off? Was he hiding somewhere? Did he feel betrayed, did he think Armin had approved of this procedure? Was he hurt? Where was he?

Armin looked all over his room - under the bed, and in the closet, and even under the loose floorboard they hid the food Sasha had stolen for them. Eren was in none of those places. His breathing started to quicken as he panicked, his mind spewing endless possibilities, none of them good. Should he tell Levi? Hanji? Should he wake up the scouts? Search on his own?

"Armin?" a groggy voice from behind him made him turn. It was Mikasa. "What're you doing here?" she asked, voice slurring a bit from sleep.

"I'm looking for Eren, seen him anywhere?" he answered, really hoping she had.

"He said something about waiting for you in your room. Looked really distressed too... What's going on with him? Did you break him Armin?" she asked jokingly.

Armin laughed a bit before responding, "no, Mikasa, I did not break Eren. Thanks for telling me by the way".

"Yeah, don't worry 'bout it. Next time you're looking for your boyfriend try not to make so much damn noise" she grumbled.

"Sorry" he answered sheepishly, his hand moving to the back of his head. "Um, I have to go now, sorry. Good night Mikasa" he rambled, leaving the room hurriedly as he suddenly remembered the reason he was looking for Eren in the first place.

He reached his room, opening the door slowly, peeking in and silently praying Eren was in there. A small ball of sheets curled up in his bed indicated that Eren was, in fact, there. "Eren?" he whispered softly. No response. "Are you awake?" he asked, moving toward his bed.

"Mhmm" came a small hum of affirmation from inside the tangled sheets.

"You doing alright? Need something?" he asked again.

"Wanna sleep" Eren huffed, his voice muffled.

"Want me to lay down with you?" Armin asked, already knowing the answer as he sat down on the bed.

"Mhmm"

Armin slowly slid in next to him, putting his shoes next to the bed, and sorting out the tangled sheets, positioning himself so Eren's head was buried in his shoulder. "Do you wanna talk about it?" he asked once they finally settled, receiving a shake of the head in response. "Okay. Do you want anything else? Something to eat maybe? You barely ate during dinner and I could just go down to the kitchens if you wan-"

"No, it's okay. Can't eat anything. Don't feel great" he answered, his voice muffled in Armin's shirt.

"Okay. Just let me know if you need anything alright?" he asked, a nod making him fall silent once again. Eren wasn't one for comforting words, preferring physical affection instead. Armin was fine with that. He'd hold Eren close all night if that's what would help him.

"What did Levi want" Eren asked, his voice slurring from tiredness. 

"He told me about what's happening tomorrow. Asked if I could come as well. You know, just to be there for you, make it easier maybe" Armin answered, his voice gentle.

Eren's shot up at his words, his eyes wide as though he was scared. "No! You can't come tomorrow. I won't let you..."

Armin was taken aback by his response. Why was he looking at him like that? What was he so afraid of?

"Why not? If you really don't want me to I won't just... tell me why" he said, keeping his voice level. Responding with emotion would only freak him out even more. What he needed now was someone cool-headed and collected who could respond to him without making the situation worse. Armin knew how to do just that.

Eren said nothing, his breathing a bit quicker than usual, a little heavier than it was supposed to be. "I don't want you there, can't let you see that" he mumbled, not meeting Armin's eyes. That was Eren for you, worrying about others when **he** should be the one people were worried about.

"Eren" he said, putting his hand under his chin and turning his gaze to him. "Believe me when I say I've seen worse. I've seen people get eaten, murdered, sliced in half, tortured, even. If I don't come with you I'll be just as stressed as you are, worrying about you all day. I won't get anything done. I'm not missing anything by coming with you, I promise. Nothing could be more important than you are, you hear me? Now, I know this is stressful and scary and absolutely horrible. I know. But you've got to try and keep calm so you don't make yourself sick with worry, alright?"

Armin's attempt to convince him seemed to work, Eren slumping against his shoulder once again. Armin felt his shirt get wet, tears soaking into the cloth. "Eren, sweetheart, please talk to me. Keeping it to yourself won't help. You'll feel better, I promise" he said, his hand moving up to Eren's hair. Armin always loved when Eren did that, ran his hands through his hair, so he figured he'd give it a shot.

"Don't wanna do it" Armin heard, the tremble in Eren's voice making his heart break.

"I know. And, trust me, I'm going to give the squad so much shit for this next time they meet. Fucking assholes"

Eren laughed a little at that "yeah, because you being angry will **definitely** scare them"

Armin huffed a little at that comment, "I can be intimidating when I want to".

"Not with your short ass you can't" Eren teased. At least he wasn't still crying. At least he was distracted. Armin wasn't **actually** offended anyway, he knew it was just a joke.

"I feel offended Eren" he said in mock disappointment.

"Good" Eren said, playing along with Armin's little sarcasm game.

"My height aside, we should probably get some sleep now, hm?" he said, leaning down to press a small kiss to Eren's forehead.

"Can't sleep. Too stressed" Eren was in his shoulder again, obviously trying to hide the blush spreading on his cheeks. He really was weak for any sort of physical affection huh? Even when it was just a kiss on the forehead.

"You want me to go get some of that sleeping liquid thing from the storage?" Armin asked.

Eren paused, thinking about it for a moment before a small "mhmm" was heard, and he slowly lifted himself off of Armin's lap.

"I won't be gone long. Promise" Armin said as he slipped on his shoes.

" 'Kay" was the only response that came as Eren curled himself up into a small ball of sheets once more.

With that, Armin exited his room, shivering as he stepped out into the hallway. It was so damn cold at night. Should he get another blanket? Maybe force Eren to eat something, since he had practically skipped dinner? 

No. Eren wasn't one for pampering, it'd only stress him out more. He wasn't like Armin, who calmed down at the feeling of being taken care of. No, with Eren you had to take a different approach.

Armin finally reached the storage rooms, his hands shaking from the cold as he tried to fit the key into the door. "Just the sleeping liquid, and then I'll be out of here, back to the warmth of the room" he reassured himself as the key finally slid into the lock and he stepped inside.

The medical storage was dark, the only light coming from the small window situated in the corner. It was large too, Eren's dad's discoveries and theories making all sorts of new equipment clutter the hundreds of wooden shelves, practically making them fall apart. Armin really hated some of this equipment, especially those horrible pointy metal things. Needles? Yeah, that was what they were called.

He stepped inside, eyes scanning the shelves before they fell on the familiar vials of purple liquid. Rushing over to them, he grabbed two - an extra one for good measure - before exiting the room, locking the door behind him.

Armin then headed to the kitchens, remembering how titan shifter's bodies often rejected any kind of unnatural liquids, the sleeping meds being no different. He remembered how absolutely horrible it was to have his body reject the stuff, remembering how he'd sat in Eren's arms and cried nearly all night. He wondered how Eren dealt with him sometimes. It was bound to be exhausting.

He reached the kitchens, snapping himself out of his train of thought. He needed to make sure Eren's body didn't reject this. He didn't want him to feel any unnecessary pain given what was bound to happen tomorrow. What could he mix this in with? Eren had used soup, but they didn't have soup for dinner, and making some would be far too noticeable and would probably get him in trouble. Should he mix it in with tea? Yeah, that would probably work, Armin concluded as he entered the kitchen and grabbed a mug from the cabinet.

He stirred in the purple liquid, watching as it turned the tea from an almost black color to a much lighter shade of brown. He shoved the second vial he had brought with him into his pocket before picking up the mug of tea, careful not to spill it or burn himself as he began the walk back to the dorms.

"Eren" Armin whispered as he entered his room with slight difficulties, the full cup in his hand making it very hard to open the door without spilling anything. "I have it" he said, walking over to the bed and setting the cup down on the bedside table.

Eren turned over to face him, untangling the sheets as he did so. He looked absolutely exhausted. So exhausted, in fact, that Armin wondered whether he even needed the medicine, before shaking his head a little, telling himself that Eren obviously needed it. Who in the world would be able to relax in a situation like this?

Armin reached over to the bedside table, grabbing the tea and handing it over to Eren, whispering a "careful, it's hot" as he brought it up to his lips.

"Did Levi make this?" he asked, making Armin stare at him for a few seconds before answering.

"Um... No?"

"You know it's not drugs he puts in it. It's mint" Eren said as he took a sip.

"You asked him?" Armin asked incredulously.

"Yep. Jean can suck it" Eren answered, now halfway done with the steaming drink.

Armin laughed a little, taking the cup from his hands as he gulped down the last drops of the tea. "C'mere" he said, returning them to the position they had been in before, Armin sitting up slightly as Eren laid sprawled on top of him, Armin's arms running up and down his back and through his hair soothingly.

Armin vowed there was no way in hell he'd let himself fall asleep before Eren did, no matter how tired he was. And that he did, watching as Eren's eyes closed and his breathing evened out. He was in for a rough day tomorrow, he deserved to rest. That was the last thought that ran through Armin's mind before he drifted off as well.

Armin couldn't help but be shaken awake throughout the entire night, dreams of Eren screaming in horrible pain making his head hurt and his stomach lurch. It was at four a.m., after around the fifth time he had woken in the past three hours, that he decided he could not take it anymore. There was no point in going to sleep again, especially since Hanji and Levi were bound to come get them soon, not to mention the fact that his constant rude awakening might even wake Eren, who was still sleeping soundly on top of him.

"The sleeping liquid really does work wonders", Armin thought. Eren's dad really was a medical genius, his "controversial" theories and advancements furthering the medical field by more than Armin could've ever imagined. Things that were unheard of, deemed impossible - such as relieving pain for instance - were suddenly available, and becoming more and more common by the year.

Armin laid in silence for a long time. He didn't know for how long, but he assumed around an hour or two, the sunrise making small slivers of light spill into the room. He wondered when Hanji and Levi would knock on the door and lead them out to wherever they planned to do this, wondered if he should wake Eren up beforehand, save him the embarrassment of being caught sleeping on top of Armin, save him the embarrassment of being shaken awake with no time to prepare himself. He decided that although waking Eren up would probably make the boy an anxious mess, it was better then being an anxious mess who hadn't prepared himself in the slightest. And so the blond-haired boy raised his head a little, bringing his mouth right next to Eren's ear before whispering:

"Eren"

"Eren, wake up"

That was the first thing Eren heard, groaning as he drifted into consciousness. He was definitely not a morning person. Hadn't he already told Armin he'd join him at titan training when the sun was up? Jeez, the boy never listened.

Wait.

It wasn't Tuesday today.

 **Oh**.

Oh, right.

How could he possibly have forgotten?

The very second Eren remembered what was to happen today he shot up, making Armin yelp a little in surprise. "Sorry" he mumbled, seeing exactly how much he had startled Armin. "Hanji and Levi here yet?" he asked, voice scratchy and still slurring from sleep.

"Not yet. But I wanted to wake you up anyway. The sun's up and they'll be here soon, and I thought I'd save you the embarrassment of them walking in the room while you were sleeping on top of me like a three-year-old" Armin joked, trying to lessen his nerves a little.

It seemed to work, at least a little bit, Eren's face contorting into a slight pout before a "thanks" fell from his lips. Armin thought that made him look even more like a three-year-old, but he didn't say anything.

"Do you want me to sneak down to the kitchens? Get us something to eat?" He asked, receiving a shake of the head in response. "Oh, come on Eren. You barely ate anything yesterday, and now this? Just a little bit, something small?" 

"No. Can't eat anything. I'll be sick"

Armin sighed a little, but he understood where Eren was coming from. Fine. He'd force him to eat later. "Alright, fine. Do you want anything else before they come?" he asked.

"Water?" Eren asked, and Armin was very confused as to why Eren thought he had to ask. He'd do anything for him, and he was sure Eren already knew that.

"Of course. I'll go get some. I'll be back in just a minute" he said as he slipped on his boots again, throwing a sweater on him because goddamn was it cold in the mornings.

"Oh yeah, by the way, if Hanji and Levi come while I'm not here, tell them I went to bring some water and I'll be back in a second. You don't leave this room without me you hear me? Throw a tantrum like a child as a last resort, because there's no way in hell you're doing this without me there, okay?" he asked, stopping right at the doorway of his room before he left for the kitchens.

Eren nodded. "Okay", he said.

And with that, Armin exited the room, leaving Eren alone with nothing else to occupy him but his thoughts. He couldn't help but think about what would happen today, the fear and anxiety drowning out any other thoughts he could've had. He had come to peace with it, somehow, just as he had come to terms with every other horrible and gruesome thing he'd had to deal with in life. He assumed that getting his limbs amputated couldn't hurt all that much more than when he'd been practically eaten alive the first time he'd transformed, right? At least this time it'll probably be fast. He trusted Hanji to not make him suffer even more than he already had to, especially with how she had acted yesterday, obviously not wanting to go through with this.

He really hoped they wouldn't show up before Armin came back, not wanting to use the "last resort" Armin had come up with. He'd obviously do as Armin said, he'd trust the boy with his life and Armin probably had a reason to want to be there beyond just being there for him. That did not mean, however, that he wouldn't avoid throwing a tantrum like a child if he could.

It seemed Eren didn't have to worry about that though, Armin entering the room with a jug of water and two cups. "I'm back" he said. "They didn't come while I was gone right?" he asked, making Eren shake his head.

"Nope" he answered.

"Good" Armin said as he started pouring water into the cups, handing Eren one of them once he was done.

Eren drank the entirety of it in only a few seconds, not even realizing how thirsty he had been until the first drops of water hit his lips.

"Now all we can do is wait I suppose" Armin sighed as he took the cup from Eren, placing it on the bedside table.

"It's fine. Don't feel bad for waking me up. I appreciate it" Eren mumbled. He wasn't lying, he really did appreciate it.

"You don't have to make me feel better. I'm sorry" 

"Armin, I told you it's fine. Stop worrying so much all the time"

Both boys then fell into silence, each in his own thoughts, Eren thinking about the events to come, Armin letting himself be preoccupied with guilt. They didn't have to sit like that for very long though, because around a half hour later, a knock was heard from the other side of the door.

"Shit" Armin mumbled, nerves suddenly overtaking him. "Come in" he then said, watching as the door opened to reveal Hanji, Levi, and a man he didn't recognize. That was probably the "representative" Levi had mentioned yesterday, although Armin didn't recognize him from the strategy squad. Who was this man?

Armin's questions were answered though, when Hanji shifted slightly, the familiar symbol of the Military Police standing out on the man's jacket. 

"Thank god, he's here" Hanji breathed out, leaning against the doorframe as though she was collapsing out of relief.

"What in all hell's name were you thinking, brat, leaving your room without notifying us? We thought you had ran away or something of the sort" Levi hissed, but the fear in his eyes showed that he was putting on a front for the man from the MP. Eren hadn't even thought about that, hadn't even considered that the fact that he hadn't slept in his room yesterday night might danger his superiors.

"Sorry" he mumbled, not meeting anyone's eyes. Armin slid his hand over, running his fingers over Eren's knuckles as an act of reassurance.

"Whatever. Save your apologies. This is Djel Sannes. From the Military Police. He'll be making sure everything goes right today" Levi continued, his voice obviously trying to mask his hatred for the man.

Sannes stuck out his hand, Eren reaching over and shaking it. "Let's get this over with, shall we?" the man asked once Eren had let go of his hand. Levi and Hanji nodded their heads, Hanji wrapping her hands around Eren's shoulders and leading him out of the room, the rest walking right behind her.

Eren let his head hang as he was lead outside the headquarters altogether, his hands in his pockets and his gaze fixed on the ground. Usually, people say the wait is worse than the actual nerve-wrecking event, but in this case, he had to disagree. He tried to force his mind to go blank, tried to will his hands to stop shaking, but to no avail.

Hanji lead them into the forest, next to the place Armin had been practicing to transform, the outline of where the Colossal Titan had fallen on the ground multiple times just a few weeks ago still etched into the ground. Suddenly, the memories of Armin getting sick flooded his mind, and he remembered how he'd had to stay with him all week and hold him close and watch as the boy suffered and couldn't do anything about it. Not that he minded - he loved Armin with all his heart and he'd take care of him forever if it was needed. He just didn't want Armin to go through that same thing, to watch Eren in pain and be able to do nothing about it. 

Hanji stopped suddenly, making Eren finally look up from the ground. They appeared to have arrived at a shed. If Eren hadn't known better he'd say it was a completely normal shed, nothing peculiar about it. But Eren did know better, Eren knew just enough to know that this was the shed where Hanji and Levi would bring people to try and get information out of them in... certain "unethical" ways.

"In there?! You're taking us **in there**?!" Armin suddenly yelled. "YOU'RE PLANNING TO CUT OFF EREN'S ARMS IN THE GODDAMNED TORTURE SHED?! WHAT THE FUCK HANJI" he continued, his face flashing with an anger so intense it made even Eren shudder. He had never seen Armin this angry before, and if he was being honest, it kinda scared him.

Eren looked back, managing to catch a glimpse of Levi smacking the back of Armin's head discreetly, Armin's frown deepening and his hand moving to rub at the spot, all while mumbling insults under his breath. Eren was then led in through the doorway that was practically falling apart, looking around as he did so. The room was scrubbed clean, even cleaner than the Captain's office. Eren found himself wondering if Levi had spent all of last night cleaning here. His tired demeanor indicating toward it.

The room had a wooden table in it, leather straps protruding from where a person's arms and legs would have been were they laid on the table. Eren shuddered to imagine the events that had happened in this room, wondered how many people's blood the Captain had scrubbed away yesterday night. He didn't want to think about it, didn't want to think about the fact that his blood would probably soon be scrubbed from the walls as well.

At the side of the table was a chair, and Eren assumed that's where Armin would be sitting. Eren suddenly realized how incredibly grateful he was that Armin would be there with him, and almost regretted his little outburst last night.

There was only one more item in the room, an item that Eren wished to not look at too much. It was a guillotine-like device, wooden stands holding up a sharp blade. Eren wondered if that was what would be used on him. It appeared he'd be getting answers soon, seeing as next thing he knew, Hanji was speaking again.

"Mr. Sannes, if you could please exit the room while we explain the procedure to Eren it would be much appreciated. You can even stand by the door to insure we don't escape, though I assure you we will be doing nothing of the sort"

Sannes nodded, and exited the shed, returning to the outside once again and closing the door behind him. Hanji turned to him before speaking.

"Eren. I think you'll be happy to hear we managed to negotiate with them" she started with a small smile, making Eren a little confused. If they had managed to get him out of it, why was he here?

"We didn't manage to get you out of it" she continued, confusing Eren even more, "but we did manage to convince them to avoid cutting off both your arms and your legs. Since your healing abilities work the same on all parts of your body, it shouldn't matter what we amputate, so we managed to convince them to let you keep your arms intact today. It isn't much... but at least it's something right?" she asked, hoping Eren would see this as a relief.

He did, a "thank you" escaping his lips before he looked at Hanji, his gaze telling her that Eren was ready. And so, Hanji started her explanation of what was to come.

"Alright Eren this is how it's going to work. You're gonna lay on that table and we're gonna have to strap you down so you don't move too much and mess something up. Then I'm gonna bring that thing over here" she said, pointing to the strange device he'd stared at earlier, "and I'm gonna let the blade drop. It'll be quick and clean, much faster than if someone were to saw it off by hand, and it'll be over before you know it" she finished, then turning to Armin.

"Armin. You'll be sitting over there" she pointed to the chair. "We already talked about what's expected of you, so you know what to do right?" she asked, making Armin nod his head.

"Good. That's about it I think" she said, tilting her head to the side in thought. "Oh wait!" she exclaimed, fishing into her pocket and bringing out two vials. Armin recognized them, having seen them many times before. "I'm afraid we can only give you one of each, because apparently if you drink too much it can be poisonous, but we thought that the pain-relievers might help, at least a little bit, and we found out that the sleeping meds have numbing qualities in them, so they should help as well"

Eren nodded as she handed them over, drinking them without a second thought. "Should we call him in now?" Levi asked, looking pointedly at the door.

"Yeah, you can call him in I suppose. By the time we're ready the meds should already be taking effect so we don't really have a reason to wait if I'm being honest" she answered, watching as Levi nodded and called Sannes back in the room.

Hanji then lead Eren and Armin over to the table, pushing Eren onto his back and strapping him in. "Do the straps hurt? Are they digging into your skin?" she asked, making Eren shake his head. The leather was a little rough against his skin, but he assumed it was supposed to be. This place was originally a torture chamber after all, he couldn't exactly expect it to be comfortable.

Hanji then handed Armin something, mumbling something into his ear that made his eyes widen in protest. A pointed look from Hanji made Armin mutter a "fine" and turn to Eren with nothing but sympathy in those blue eyes of his. He slowly leaned over, and Eren now saw what it was. It was a cloth - but it wouldn't be used just as a cloth, he realized. No, the cloth that Armin was holding was very similar to the one his dad would use when preforming painful medical procedures. Armin was holding a gag.

Armin really didn't want to do this, he even would've protested if Hanji hadn't sent him that look. "I'm so sorry Eren" he whispered as he put it into place, his heart feeling like it was shattering at the small whimpers Eren let out.

"We're gonna start now" Hanji said, loud enough for everyone to hear, and Eren craned his neck a bit so he could see where she was. His stomach nearly leapt into his throat when he saw her wheeling that wretched thing over, and he let his head fall back, suddenly finding it very very hard to breathe properly. He then felt a hand in his hair, before that soft voice he loved so much brought him back to reality, grounding him.

"Shh, Eren. You're okay. It'll be over before you know it alright? Remember what Hanji said, just two clean, quick cuts and then we're done right? No need to be scared. You'll be just fine. We've been through worse remember?" Eren heard, the words Armin was saying barely registering in his ears but calming him down nevertheless.

"I think she's gonna start now. Try and relax okay?" Armin said, and that was around the last thing Eren heard before the entire world went silent, the only thing registering in his mind the horrible, excruciating pain he was feeling, the splatters of a liquid that he was certain was his own blood, and the wet streams of tears running down his face as his mouth opened in a muffled scream.

"Eren! Oh my god, Eren. No, no, it's okay. Don't cry baby, you're fine. You're alright. We're almost done. You're doing great Eren, doing so well" Armin said, trying desperately to control his frantic voice because _oh my fucking god Eren's leg has just been separated from his body and there's blood everywhere and Eren is sobbing like there's no tomorrow and **I CAN SEE THE BONE** oh my god what the fuck what the fuck what the fuck._

None of these words were registering in Eren's brain though, everything apart from the white-hot pain he was feeling sounding like white noise. It hurt so bad. So so bad. It felt like... Well - it felt like his leg had just been amputated. He was sure there were still knives sticking into him, the area below his kneecap feeling as though it was on fire and being stabbed by a million knives while simultaneously being stung by a thousand bees before being impaled with billions of shards of glass. Oh god, it was horrible, and Eren was hoping, praying even, to pass out. For everything to stop, even for just a second.

Somehow even worse than that, though, was the feeling of his blood slowly leaking out before evaporating the very second it hit the air. His legs were wet with blood and he couldn't feel anything below his kneecap - not that there was anything to feel - and he just couldn't stop crying and screaming, his eyes shut tight and his arms struggling against the straps that were holding him in place.

And then, before he knew it, it was all happening again as the blade sliced through the skin right below his other kneecap, and apparently this time it was all too much for him to bear because his vison started spotting before his body went completely limp and the world went black.

"Fuck, Eren! Eren! Oh my god he passed out fuck fuck fuck what do we do Hanji what do we do what-..." Armin trailed off, suddenly breaking into sobs as he realized that the words he had said hadn't even helped in the slightest. He had been useless, as usual, offering no help, only making things harder for everyone by breaking down like this.

"Arlert" he heard a voice in his ear and felt a hand on his shoulder. "Eren is fine. He's just passed out. Basic pain response. He's not dead, I promise you. I'm sure you helped him through it a lot, and even if he didn't hear you, your presence should've been more than enough". It was the Captain. Huh. Armin definitely did not expect those words from anyone, especially not from him, though he supposed it made sense. Levi obviously had people he cared about as well, had obviously had to watch multiple friends and maybe even family members suffer, without the foggiest idea of what to do, so he probably knew what it felt like. 

Taking a few minutes just to breathe, Armin calmed down, looking up once tears had finally stopped streaming down his face. It was a gruesome sight, making him have to clench his fists so hard his nails drew blood from his palms so as to not throw up. Eren's severed legs had started evaporating, along with the blood that was constantly gushing out of him. It was splattered everywhere, on the walls, on the floor, on the table, on him. Eren's bone could be seen if he craned his neck enough to look at it, though that wasn't really something he wanted to do, didn't want to see his boyfriends leg which had now been turned to nothing more than a mush of blood and muscle. Armin knew Eren wouldn't bleed out, though. It was impossible, titan shifters couldn't bleed out. 

Everyone else in the room was a mess, even the man from the MP who Armin had long forgotten his name. He was looking away, his gaze firmly lodged on the floor, taking Eren's screams and the splatters of blood as enough proof that they weren't faking anything. "Good" Armin thought. Let him feel guilty. Let him feel remorse for forcing Eren's superiors - people he had _trusted_ \- to hurt him in this way. Armin wasn't sure if Eren would ever be able to look at any of them the same way again, even if he knew Hanji and Levi weren't in charge of this. Armin knew that if he was in Eren's shoes, he definitely wouldn't. He'd never be able to look them in the eyes again, probably never trust them ever again. He'd dread being alone in a room with them, let alone being called to that nightmarish office.

"I-I suppose I'll be leaving now" Sannes stated, clearing his throat as he lifted his gaze from the floor. "Send me the results once you have them".

Levi only had to shoot the man a glare before he gulped and rushed out the door. Good. He wasn't welcome here. He wasn't welcome here and he'll never **be** welcome here.

Hanji, meanwhile, was just as much of a mess as Armin was, tears silently streaming down her face as she stopped the bleeding to the best of her abilities and bandaged Eren up. She finished up quickly before stepping back and looking around the room for a second, her eyes then turning to them. "So... What do we do now?" she choked out.

"We get Eren back to his room... Or Arlert's, if he's more comfortable with that. Arlert, you can handle it right?" Levi answered Hanji, turning to Armin for an answer.

"Yeah, my room's fine. And I think I can handle it" he answered.

Levi nodded. "Call us if you need anything. Anything at all. We'll bring by the food and the water and the meds so don't even worry about that. Take note of his legs and write down the hour and minute at which they grow back fully. Be as accurate as possible".

Armin nodded back, staying seated as Levi and Hanji worked on undoing the straps binding Eren to the table. He slowly leaned over and took the white cloth out of Eren's moth, running his fingers through his hair, and before Armin knew it, tears were blurring his vision again. That had to be one of the worst things he'd ever been through. He never wanted to go through that again. Ever. Would rather have his own legs amputated.

"Armin" he heard, and turned to look at Hanji. "I know he's all dirtied and bloody right now but you can't wash it off him just yet. No matter how much he protests or how nasty it may seem, don't let him get in the water until his legs have grown back fully"

"Okay" Armin said, and then, before he knew it, his boyfriend was being scooped up by Hanji, and they were setting off toward the headquarters.

Out of all the things Armin had prepared for today, the scouts reactions as Eren was practically paraded through the dorms was not one of them.

"Armin?" he heard a voice ask from behind him. It was Mikasa. "What happened to Eren? What happened to... His legs?" she asked. She sounded scared. Who wouldn't be though? Eren was someone she cared about deeply, and seeing him in his state must've shaken her up.

"I'll explain later. I'm sorry Mikasa. I just- I need to go be with Eren right now. You can come if you want and I can explain everything but-"

"Did _she_ do this to him?" she asked, her voice dripping with anger.

"Well... yes, but-" 

"I'm going to fucking kill her!" she yelled, only stopping when Armin held her back a yell of "Mikasa, stop!" finally catching her attention. 

"It's not Hanji's fault. Please don't do anything that'll get you in trouble. Please" he pleaded with her, watching as her grey eyes slowly lost their fight and anger, Mikasa sighing before she stepped back. 

"Fine. But you owe me an explanation Armin" she huffed, sending him a glare before running over to the rest of the scouts who were all on their way to ODM gear training or something of the sort. 

Armin watched her walk away with them for a few seconds before returning to his room, Eren already laying in his bed and supplies already gathered on the floor. Armin really tried to keep himself awake, he really did, but today had been so incredibly exhausting, so incredibly draining. He couldn't. He just couldn't. And so Armin drifted off. 

Until he awoke again, that is, to the sounds of... gagging? 

Oh, shit. 

Oh, fuck. 

Eren. 

"Eren?" he said as he shot up, only to find his boyfriend throwing up all over himself, tears falling freely down his cheeks. 

"Oh my god, Eren" he said. Everything had taken him by surprise. Was Eren hurt (well, more than he was supposed to be)? Sick? Was something horribly wrong? Was he going to die? Oh my god, Eren was going to die. 

" 'M sorry" he heard from the boy in front of him. 

"Eren would you please mind explaining to me what the actual fuck you are sorry before because last I checked people cannot control when or where they throw up" Armin said, already moving toward the bed to get the dirtied sheet off of it. 

"For makin' the sheets dirty" Eren mumbled. 

It was only that Armin got a proper look at him, saw just how horrible he looked. It reminded him of something... 

And that's when it clicked in Armin's mind. Eren wasn't throwing up because of the events of today (well maybe that too). Eren was throwing up because Armin had fucked up. Armin had forgotten to mention to Hanji that titan shifter's bodies reject medication. Eren's body was now rejecting the two vials of meds he had drank just a few hours ago, just like Armin's body had done not three weeks ago. 

Well, shit. 

This was going to be a long, horrible, couple of days. It was going to be absolutely terrible, but at least the worst part was over... Right? 

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, if you're reading this it means you have read through approximately 11500 words of pure trash that literally took me four days to write. Props to you.
> 
> I must say, season four is absolutely BREAKING ME, especially with all the angsty shit I see on social media, but I'm not going to go into detail because I feel like an in-depth analysis of the entire series is wayyyyy too long for an A/N to hold. And now to the actual A/N:
> 
> I also just wanted to say that all of your comments are warming my heart. Genuinely. I think I've read each one individually over ten times and they just make me so so happy. You really have no idea.
> 
> I experienced a little bit of writers block with this one, and I think that's why I hate it so much. It's very very hard for me to write gruesome situations and gore and all that stuff (I, personally think it was horrible and not even graphic, still rated it mature and used the archive warnings though, just in case you know?). 
> 
> I've also come to the conclusion that I'm so much more comfortable writing sick Armin rather than sick Eren (does this even count as sick Eren?) because I relate to Armin a lot and it just makes it so much easier to write you know? So I think I'll stick to writing sick Armin for the rest of my sickfic works (unless you guys are completely opposed to that, I'll have to figure something out then I suppose).
> 
> On that note, would you guys mind giving me some ideas on what to write next, because often after writing a really long work or writing something that's not really to my tastes I get really bad writers block and I'd really like to avoid that if I can so ideas would definitely be very much appreciated! Anything is cool, I'm open to doing anything (except for smut. No thank you. Also, as I've mentioned, I'm horrible at writing gore-y gruesome scenes so if that could be avoided it'd be appreciated).
> 
> On the bright side, I think I've finally figured out most of the details to this little almost-canon-compliant AU, so I won't have to struggle with details anymore and I'll probably include it in my later works.
> 
> I've also realized that people actually read A/Ns on here, which is really surprising because on other platforms I'd just write A/Ns and ask people questions in them only to realize practically nobody reads them, so if you're reading this, thank you!
> 
> I have also decided to skip rereading this one to check for errors, it's much too long, not to mention I think I'll delete it out of pure hatred if I reread this. I cannot even describe to you my hatred for this. I know I said my last two works were bad, but this? This is something else. I think my writing skills just get worse by the day. Everyone is so OOC in this too ew ew ew. I hate it.
> 
> I think that's all for now. I hope you guys don't think this is as horrible as I do :)


End file.
